To My Angel Above...

I sit here and think of you everyday but especially today because one year ago I said good bye to you. Even though we did not meet, I miss you and wonder who you would have been. I wonder if you would have had Charlie's wonderful sense of humor, Max's kind smile, or Lincoln's contagious laugh. I wonder if you would have had your Dad's patience or your Momma's stubbornness. I wonder if you had my dark eyes or your Dad's straight thumbs.
No one will ever have the connection that I had with you. Someday we will meet and you will know who I am. I still wonder if you would have been my Annalise Kate or my Henry Thomas. Because of you, I now have your brothers Maxwell and Lincoln. If you would have asked me a year ago where I would be today, my answer would not have been a mother of 3 beautiful boys.
You are always in my thoughts, my heart, and my prayers. You will always be mine and I will always love you.

Thinking of you,
Momma

The Tables Have Turned

Those of you that know Tim, know that he grew up in a house full of women. Obviously the table have turned and the numbers are now on his side! Hurray Timmy! Who would have thought that Tim would be the father to 3 boys?! He loves every minute with his boys, even when all 3 are yelling at him. I just sit back and enjoy watching him "handle" it. These boys are going to learn alot from their Dad, just hope they learn how to drive from Mom (sorry honey).

We Love You Dad!

Maxwell, Charles, and Lincoln

"Dad, I'm the one you won't have to worry about"

"Hide your keys Daddy!"

Yes, even the dog is on Dad's side

This picture sums it up - Life is good for this man

Working on their neck strength

Max is still behind b/c of the hernia - don't worry he is breathing!

Playing trains with the boys

Storytime - Charlie is now ok with sitting NEXT to Dad instead of on his lap. The babies love listening to books - Linc laughs the whole time and Max smiles when we use different voices.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

On Sunday Charlie and I had another date so I decided that we would do something 100% new to him. We went to the movie theater for the first time and saw "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". Charlie was so excited! We walked into the theater and he saw other people sitting in the seats. He said "Momma, who are these people?" Not like watching a movie in the living room at home. He climbed into the seat and it folded right up! I looked over to see Charlie's feet up by his head. haha Needless to say he sat on mom's lap for the movie. He watched the whole movie without getting antsy. Now he can't wait to go to a movie with his cousins when we get to Rapid City. His cuz Malaki is a movie buff and a movie theater veteran. :)

Charlie in his seat (I had to put my leg on the chair for a pic)

"I've got my golden ticket!"

2 Months or 33 yrs... It Doesn't Matter

Whether your child is 2 months old or 33 years old, you are still a mother, worried, nervous, and scared. My mom and I have been in the same boat the last few days with Max's surgery on Monday and Gabe's today. We just got word that Gabe is out of surgery and in recovery. The surgery went as planned, removing a disk, doing a bone graph on his hip, and placing a rod in his neck. The doc said he should have instant pain relief in his neck (its been a problem for a few years now), but will need a month to fully recover. Christina and I wish we could be there to hug our brother but Mary and Tim will just have to get the job done for us.
We love you Gabe and we will be home soon to squeeze you! Kyra will just have to feed you now :)

Our Brave Baby Boy

Maxwell George showing no pain

On Monday Max had his surgery at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. Tim and I took him up while my mom stayed with Linc and Charlie at home. Tim's mom came with us to help us understand the medical stuff and support very scared parents. We had to put him in little hospital pjs and kiss him good bye while he was taken into the OR. This was the second hardest thing I have had to do as a mother, first being after he was delivered watching him in the nursery being poked etc. The surgery was an hour long and he was then taken to recovery for another hour - which to me felt like 10 hours! The doctor said everything went as planned. When they went in to fix the LARGE hernia on the right, they discovered that he had a small hernia developing on the left side! They were both repaired within 45 mins.

I stayed at the hospital overnight with him so I could nurse him and provide that comfort that he so desparately needed. Tim went home to be with Lincoln and Charlie and relieve Grandma. While I was at the hospital with Max there were times where he would look around and then look back at me with question in his eyes. And I would say "Lincoln is at home buddy and misses you too". The connection between all 3 of them is amazing and I hope that never changes.

On Sunday while we were at church, Father Paul said a special prayer for Maxwell and his family. During the prayer Max's church family laid their hands upon him to give him strength and love for the next day. Ironically my parents' minister and her husband were in town visiting their son who attends school in St. Peter. They were at church and were able to pray with us and let us know they were thinking about my brother as well during his upcoming surgery.

Charlie giving his VERY hungry brother some juice before his surgery Monday morning (he went 7 hrs w/o eating)

Max right after surgery - this was the calm before the storm

Max the next morning

The blanket that he has on is one that my mom made and I brought with at the last minute. During the middle of the night I was unable to move and breathe the wrong way in fear that Max would start crying again. At midnight or so I decided to try the blanket and it was the first time I saw Max's body relax and the tears stop (for 15mins at a time).

No one ever said it was easy to be a parent. We got through it and he is happy to be with his brothers at home. I told Tim at the hospital that I want to put all 3 of them in a giant bubble so nothing can harm them until their 35 or so!

Grandma saying good bye to her brave lil grandson - until next time

A GIANT THANK YOU!

To everyone that has helped us with our children, putting warm meals on our table, taking care of our dog, and all the emails and phone calls : Tim and I want to express how much it has all meant to us. Everyone helps in their own ways and we are grateful for all of it! God bless and Happy Holidays.

Nothing Stops Grandma

Well to no surprise to me when I called my mom on Friday to let her know about Max's surgery being on Monday, her and my dad immediately made arrangements to get her here. She flew in on Saturday night to be here for us. On Sunday Mom and I went to a splurge party at Maurices with other ladies we know (including Tina) and had a wonderful time. It was a great way to take my mind off of life's problems. While the boys' Grandma was here we went to church, made Christmas ornaments, and went to Underwater World in the mall.

This amazing woman flew home tonight to get back for my brother's neck surgery tomorrow. Her motto is: "Never say it's not possible"! Once again I didn't have to worry about Charlie and Lincoln and was able to focus on my sick baby. Thank you Mom for making the impossible possible!

Linc smiling at his silly Grandma

Grandma and Charlie finding the turtles - her favorite

Charlie was a little over a year the first time we went here so it was fun to watch the excitement on his face this time

Snugglebugs

Checking out the fish

Tina and Linc have a special connection, BUT then again she has the connection with all of her nephews and neices. She is for sure the "fun" aunt :) She will be the one with the pool in the backyard!

Everytime my mom looks at Max she sees her dad and emotions flow. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that my son is able to remind my mom of her dad and their good times together

Ladies saying good night and good luck to Dad

Mr. Handsome on his way to church

Max showing off his 3 month clothes in his GIANT body (12 lbs already!)

How To Make Their Day...

On Friday Max had his appointment with the surgeon to determine when surgery would be etc. The boys' Aunt Tina stayed with Charlie all day so he didn't have to go with and we could get Christmas shopping done w/o him. Lincoln and Max were able to be with their great grandparents and Nama during a quiet visit before the doc's appointment. Nama also joined us at the doc's office to help with questions and concerns.

Tim's grandparents didn't stop smiling the whole time we were there. You don't need much more in life when you have a tiny person in your arms smiling up at you and listening to every word you say. These are the days to remember and cherish. I think about my grandpas and grandmas that aren't here to spend time with my boys. I was able to tell my Grandpa Ed that Tim and I were expecting the twins when I visited him in the hospital for the last time. I know in my heart that these tiny souls were handpicked for us by those that have past on before us.

Grandma Millie with Max, Dad, and Grandpa Rol with Lincoln (past out)

They sure did miss seeing Charlie that day but we didn't tell CT that we were visiting them (there would have been alot of tears)

Max and Great Grandpa discussing his future with the MN Gophers team

He has high hopes for all his great grandsons

Mr. Lincoln entertaining his great grandma with his facial expressions

Nama was comforting Linc after he spit up about 4 times in 30 mins

Maxwell making his Nama's day

Snuggling in the kindest hands